how about some rafting or guide jokes?
feel free to add your own!
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Q: how can you spot a raft guide at a party?
A: you don't have to- he's gonna tell you straight away, anyway.
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Q: what's a raftguide without a girlfriend?
A: homeless.
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Q: how do you put 6 raftguides into a port-a-potty a.k.a. dixie toilet?
A: tell'em it's free to live in there.
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Q: how do you get them out?
A: tell'em they gotta clean up once a month.
or
A: charge 'em rent.
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Q: what's the difference between a raft guide and a family pizza?
A: a family pizza can feed more than one person.
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Q: how many raft guides do you need to change a light bulb?
A: five. one does the screwing while the other four discuss the gnarly hole in the middle.
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Q: what's the difference between a female raft guide and the yeti/big foot/sasquatch?
A: one is a large, muscular, hairy and frightening monster that lives in the mountains, and the other one's a myth.
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Q: what's the last words of a raft guide?
A: don't worry guys, we'll be allright!
or
A: haaaard forward!
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Q: what's the difference between god and a raft guide?
A: god doesn't think he's a raft guide.
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punter: this water's so murky, it must be saltwater!
guide: look up there, man. that's snow on that mountain. it melts, runs down the hill and here we go. it's freshwater!
punter: no way man, it's gotta be saltwater.
guide: why dont you taste it? you'll see..
punter: i don' drink saltwater, man!